Tempting.....?

im there....im there...........
Almost made it to the circle of friends...
i am finally being accepted to the dark side of Mars...
YES!!! YES!!!!!!

but then came the alignment of the 3 planets...
SPECTACULAR!!!! simple just the diamond of the universe....
VENUS!!!...came out from the light...
shining bright like the ring of eclipse...
spellbinding with its perfect symmetry...
one sentence says it all....
'I'm in love'

things i have almost achieved...
my left arm to shield...my right to fight...
grabing hold to both things i cherish...
the bond so strong to my right...which i have been fighting for the past decades...
while the left which seemed to have caught my soul...regardless that i just found it...
I WANT TO SHIELD IT!!!
yet...all arrows and obstacles seem to drains me out...
IT HURTS!!!...
To shield my beloved...i can only leave 2 parts of me with her...
my memories...and my heart...
though it is weakening...
i never doubt a moment that both of it will give their best...
for both of them are my closest friend....
letting go would be the last resort...
i have to take it...for better...or worse that happens to me...


for each time these things happen...i try to let it go...
YET...the infinite path ALWAYS seem to tempt me...
again....and again....and again....
luring me into its endless cycle every passing years....
and im the fool to have ALWAYS dropping in to its doorway....

have the devil took interest in me??...
whispering to my ear...GO...GO!!!!!
then pushed me down when im trying to grab hold of 'it'...
scars from the past BURNS within the flesh...
after every kick...
every punch...he throws at me
what am i to do????
Why dont fight back????

i have always been there to protect you...
treat you to dearly...yet its a SIN in everyway...
constantly avoided...getting the silent-treatment....
MAYBE thats you....
MAYBE the devil messed with my mind.....
OR MAYBE!!!
i was the one who is amidst of the triangle....clearly..but..not noticing it until i looked closely...
then it made sense...
that i don't belong...
just another disposable item....not to be proud of...

now...im awake(again)...
i wont be there for you...but i leave my memories..and heart with you...
i'm lieing if i say 'i hate you'...or ...'i dont like you'...
most of all....the worse lie i can ever say will be that 'i do not love you'...
so...
sadly...
i can only say...
'i once dreamt i have protected you with all my might, and you were there for me'
that...i can say would be a fantasy i hoped to be a reality...

after it all 'ends' again...going back to the dark again...
where i cry and moan to the walls....which are the ones who gave me comfort...and never neglecting me...
which made me who i am today...
i'll go on!!!... Thankz for the mind-puzzling memories....